As we believe, so we feel.

98% of what we do every day is habit. Our brains cannot tell the difference between an action that we perform, and one we visualise, so regaining control of your thoughts and emotions is vital to your wellbeing.


When I refer to trauma in our lives, many think that this may not, or will not have affected them.

The word trauma descends from the greek word for wound, a wound of the mind, body and soul.

Trauma can however be any of the following;

  • Any experience which is less than nurturing

  • An event which overwhelms our ability to cope

  • An event in which you feel powerless

  • An event which changes how you see your lace in the world

  • Interpersonal aggression, abuse

  • Reoccurring distressing events

  • Emotionally overwhelmed

  • Physically out of control

  • Dissociation and Detachment

  • Disturbing situation

  • Fear of physical or emotional wellbeing and safety

  • Emotional shock causing lasting psychological damage

  • Serious body injury

Response to any such event varies from person to person and leaves a huge and indelible impact on the soul and the aroused state of the brain for an extended period of time increases our likelihood of stress, depression, anxiety and intrusive thoughts. The importance is to recognise this, and allow yourself to heal from it.

Trauma hijacks your identity and sends you off balance. Many find it hard to control how they behave, operating on autopilot much of the time. Your neurobiology is affected, and as such you cannot just 'get over it".

Being in control is a major PTSD and trauma coping mechanism, the complex psychological and neurobiological systems of the body and the mind have not received the messages that the danger has passed, and as such you live in a state of constant alert and anxiety.


This can be frustrating when you try to live a 'normal' life, both in relationships, friendships and your working life. You will have become familiar with the symptoms you developed as a way of feeling safe and as such the unfamiliar is threatening and uncomfortable for you. You can take control and heal; regaining surprises, strength, courage and fortitude. The trauma may have taken away your choices, yet recovery is about taking these back. The trauma, memory and behaviours will not have separated themselves and become intertwined until you choose how to operate in your life.


Trust may be difficult to feel, as you no longer feel a sense of safety in the world. But, healing can only take place when you let out the breath that you are holding. Changing your own point of view changes what you know, how you act, behave, respond,, want, choose and expect. Releasing yourself from the constant sense of danger that was an entitled post trauma response with an equal entitlement to heal.

Victor Frankl, holocaust survivor, described trauma as an "Abnormal reaction to an abnormal experience in normal behaviour".

It is important to remember this as personally speaking from experience of feeling full of self-criticism and self-doubt it is hard to fully love yourself when you are struggling through such feelings that you are. You may not like the person that you have become, I know I didn't. For she had become dysfunctional and has broken all the relationships around her because she does not have the self compassion to change how she thought, felt and spoke. The high speed that she lived at in her mind was a constant survival mode, lacking balance and self trust. She had been living in constant extreme, floodgates open and lacking in a filter, she lived in a sensory overload.


Healing only happens when we begin to value who we are and by recognising who you re at the moment, deciding what needs to be changed, defining what you want to become and then putting this into effect. Sounds easy? It's not, its a hard long journey, with struggles, bumps and pain along the way. But. it will be worth it I promise you



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